Wednesday, October 6, 2010

It happens in her head

That's where she goes to find the subtle answer to the riddle. It doesn't render fully... She's grabbing tightly to your every word, trying hard to understand as you try to speak. She feels you, she looks ahead, trying to find you, trying closely to see you, she reaches out to touch you just to feel cold glass against her fingertips. Life is the riddle. She loses touch, she gives up on you, and she's as good as dead.






You're dead, useless... I now must escape far from this world, and build my own. I will interpret what my reality is, and stay there forever. What's real, whats not is not fixed for some thing to decide. The world is not black nor white. I am not good, nor evil. It's now my own. I desire to invent my own purpose. I desire to chase it. I desire to fulfill a dream or to live in a dream.







I die, and everything goes blank. I do not want to die, knowing I had not lived.


 -

45 comments:

  1. Thanks for the lovely new post Joey. You never fail to amaze me. The new photos are breathtaking. Thanks for updating your blog.

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  2. I "met" you on MFC a couple nights ago, for the first time, and was sticken speechless. There was something about how you carried yourself in that room, where all about you was seeming chaos. I just had to come and find out more about you, by reading your blogs.

    This latest blog, as well as all the others, gave me a new piece of the puzzle that is you. Thank you for sharing this puzzle with me and, with some luck, I'll hopefully be able to see the whole picture some day.

    Thank you ...

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  3. Once again your words leave me with a Heavy Heart.
    <3

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=egmMMzt28g8

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  4. It was nice to see the new post on your blog yesterday. Seeing the post means, you are thinking about us even though you cannot get online. Knowing that you care so much about us really means a lot to me. I am looking forward to seeing you on cam when you get a chance. In the mean time, remember all of us miss you. I hope you are having a great day and you are catching up on your schoolwork.

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  5. Now posting wide awake and with both eyes open.

    This new photos bring out a new you.
    Personally I was curious about normal day life Joey.
    I was expecting some sort of high heels shoes (that was a surprise, but using part of my brain not unexpected considering you must walk a lot looking for the right photo opportunity).
    Well seeing you in sunlight is definitely a nice change.

    Outdoor day photos WOW, now that's Art, controlling the uncontrollable waiting for the right light, for the perfect time of day, perfection is hard to achieve and for me your photos are perfect.

    One of my favorite songs even if I don't like the singer show of.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x6TcRErkv0&feature=related

    PS
    My "Informer" told me not to expect you soon so I'm sending you a big Tight Hug that will last for the remaining of the week. :)

    PPS
    “The best gift you can give is a hug: one size fits all and no one ever minds if you return it

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  6. Say it isn’t so, Val. It will be a very long week if what you are saying is true. I hope that your "Informer" will share this information with the rest of us. It would be nice to have a heads up to when we can expect Joey online.

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  7. Your new pictures are truly beautiful. It is hard to decide on which is more breathtaking, the scenery or you. I am leaning more towards you.

    Any idea if you are going to be on cam this weekend? It would be nice to see you. Val's comment that you would not be online anytime soon is very disheartening.

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  8. Joey you know the Big Hug I sent you yesterday, well i need it back, and if you can deliver it in person it would be perfect.

    I know that there is a slim chance of you being online this weekend (slim isn't a no no), so I bought a T-shirt that says in front "A Week Without Joey" and "Feeling like Sh--t" in the back, that I plan on using until I see you again.
    :)
    <333

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  9. being online is not the be all of Joey, a friend in need is a friend indeed - lancaster

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  10. You are absolutely correct Fred, there is so much more to Joey than being online for us. I realize that she has much more important things in her life than being online. Her social life and schoolwork should come FIRST and we should come SECOND. I just want to let her know that I miss her dearly. I am very grateful that she does set aside time for us each week, whether it is on cam or a new blog post that means a lot to me. The last thing I want to do is to upset her or cause her to neglect the other more important aspects of her life just to come online for my own selfishness. When she has time I am sure we will see her again. Until then I will continue to bemoan about it on her blog. I hope she does not take my post too seriously for they are after all just the rantings of a lunatic.
    –Sid3winder

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  11. I just made Joey my personal obsession so you can call me "The Stalker From Across The Atlantic ". Lol. Joey knows I'm joking. I think we all have personal lives and mfc Is an escape from reality no matter how we feel about "the mfc family" it's still pretty much all virtual and platonic until we meet face to face or at least hear each others voices. I just love the way this blog alows me to practice my English , something that on mfc is very hard to do. I'm writhig this on my iPod so don't mind the random chit chat. Hugs to all fellow Gang members and kisses to "The Boss". Valdas

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  12. I agree with the above - Joey has helped me keep my sanity when times have been tough. I am lucky enough to get access to the web - a long story -
    But needless to say - any day it can go, as can I. So I take my time with Joey as a little special. Joey and the gang are good to me - and I in turn do my best to keep it light and have a smile. When at times that is a 1000 miles away from my real world. My little outpost and foxhole enjoys the sunlight of Joey - and the banter of the gang - thx

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  13. I agree with both of you, whenever, I am having a bad day the first thing I do is look for Joey online. Her wonderful smile and enchanting eyes makes the stress of the day melt away. She is definitely one of a kind. She is an intelligent, well-spoken, artistic, and elegant woman. She is not just another pretty girl. All of this coupled with the camaraderie of the room makes it a place I really enjoy visiting. I am honored to be part of the “gang” or “family,” whichever you prefer.

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  14. I spent some time surfing the web this weekend and found a quote that I like.

    Each time I miss you, a star falls down from the sky. So, if you looked up at the sky and found it dark with no stars, it is all your fault. You made me miss you too much!

    I miss you Joey and I know that I am not the only one who does. I hope that we will get to see you online this week. If not I think all the stars in the sky will disappear.

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  15. I’m sharing a sonnet I accidentally stumbled in by Petrarch I didn’t like the English translation so based on the Spanish and English translation and the original in Italian I came up with this one, (I took some creative liberties) so feel free to criticize.


    Blessed be the day, and the month, and the year,
    and the season, the time, the hour ,the moment,
    And the lovely country, and the place where I was joined
    By the two beautiful eyes that have bounded me.

    Blessed be the first sweet agony
    that I felt in finding Love,
    and the bow and the arrows that pierce me,
    and the wounds that run deep in my heart

    Blessed be the many voices that I scattered,
    calling my lady’s, name,
    and the sighs, the tears, and the passion.

    Blessed be all those writings
    in which I have praise her fame, and my thoughts,
    that are all hers and center on her alone.

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  16. Getting a little odd now guys.....Lancaster

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  17. Ok, considering Lancaster is a Big guy that likes to play rugby I'm keeping the lammliless (does this word exist?) to the minimum. Well I'm in my normal morning Zombie mode, even with Joey not being online during the week I manage to sleep four hours a day (yupy). But I have to admit I miss the room and all the good vibes.

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  18. All, keep your comments for Joey comming - I hope I did not imply that they are not good. Valdas your a good guy I am sure as is Ben. Excuse my sometimes macho comments, hard not to be where I am. - Lancaster

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  19. I intend to Fred. I know you are just trying to protect Joey so I don’t mind your comments. If I get a little carried away, feel free to reign me in. I know words have different meanings based on intent and I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. The problem is if you misinterpreted what I said then someone else might have done so also, especially Joey and I do not want that.

    It is nice to see Val (let me know if you prefer to be called Valdas) and I have someone else posting on the blog with some regularity. At first, it seemed that the comment section was made just so we could comment on her new photos and Val and I could try to convince her to get back online more often. I know the pleas often are ignored, but I will continue to do so regardless of the outcome. I figure if we post on the blog daily it might convince Joey to come back online a little more often than she does. Even if it does not work, the few minutes it takes to write the post is worth it if I can bring a smile to her face. You also do not have to keep signing you posts Fred, as I am sure Joey knows your screen name by now.

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  20. Hi fellow Blog Readers.
    Latest news say Joey will be online more often. :)

    Lancaster, having lived in your sort of macho "environment" for nearly 10 years (with out the getting shot at part) I’m used to hearing the truth plain and simple.

    Ben, concerning My Nick Valdas isn't my real name (shocker) if i told you My real name you would call me "Val" for sure.

    To be honest Valdas is a nick given to me in high school by a Friend, and it glued on me so fast that before i knew the all school and all my family started calling me that.

    In most rooms People call me "Valdas" in others "V"(lazy models) in one im called "Four Twenty" (lol) In joeys im called "Val". -you can call me what you whant its up to you, most times im lazy about nicks and i shorten them up a little to.

    This song besides being one of my favorites is probably the one that defines me the best.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsDpwb3ILxM

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  21. I do not type very fast so I will just call you Val that and I am kinda lazy. Since Joey has not been online the past week I have had more time to do school work, and this is forcing me to focus more time on it. I have also been able to get more sleep. These are both bad habits that I need to break. The more sleep I get and the more I focus on school work the worst I seem to do. I am looking forward to seeing Joey online more often so I have an excellent reason to spend less time on the previously mentioned activities. As far as what you guys call me I do not care. You can call me by my real name like Val does or by my screen name it really does not bother me. As soon as I posted on the blog with both my real name and screen name, I threw any idea of anonymity out of the window.

    Before you worry about the lack of enthusiasm about college, this semester is all general education that I need in order to transfer to a university. The classes are really easy compared to what I have taken and I welcome the change before I have to endure the harder classes in the fall.

    I am eagerly awaiting your return Joey and thanks for the news update Val. Hearing that Joey will be on more has really made my day.

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  22. Hi all - Ben, study is really important. So get stuck into it mate - and we never stop learning. Val.... Hmmmmmm I think Vald works better for me. I will be not around for a while soon - as we... well lets just say we aim to take it, where it will hurt certain folk the most, and that means
    " All Hands" - I cannot say when I will not be around or when I will be back. But, you guys keep a smile on your face, and let Joey know that others care about her. And yes Ben I will not sign off with Lan...... :)

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  23. I wish you the best Fred, hopefully you can come back soon. You will be missed. Good luck with your current mission, as a "Yankee", I do appreciate the British support of our troops. I hope you can keep smiling yourself and you can find the time to enjoy a nice brew.

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  24. Getting on tonight ^^ I've missed you guys too. :)

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  25. Gues who was on the subway and got a text msg saying Joey was online. Nooooo . Had I read your blog message 5 minutes soner and I would have carried my big ass laptop with me, and I could be talking to you and the gang right now. I will kick myself all day for that. Have fun today and I hope you get online tomorrow or in the weekend. Huge group hug to the gang .<3

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  26. Thanks for coming on last night even though you were sick Joey. Although I would rather see a happy and healthy Joey than one who is not feeling well, seeing you is always better than not seeing you. I could have waited an extra day or two in order for you to get better, but was glad to see you anyway. I hope you are not a “zombie” tomorrow from lack of sleep to quote Val. Make sure and get some rest in order to get well faster. If you think midterms are brutal just wait until you have to take them when you are sick. Speaking from experience taking test while sick, that is a recipe for disaster.

    I am going to the Getty Villa on Tuesday. It is modeled after a Roman summerhouse. They have Greek, Roman, and Etruscan statues and artifacts located on the grounds and in the Villa. I think you would enjoy the place. The Villa is also located near the ocean so I am in excited about the cooler weather. I might take some pictures but unfortunately, I am nowhere near as good as you are at taking photos so don’t expect much from them if I do.

    Here is a cute clip that I hope makes you go aw. I am not going to spoil it by telling you what it is.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl5Pfc5TyO0

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  27. Joey you are sick, OK to show my support im getting sick too. :)
    I hope its nothing, serious. Get well fast Joey.

    Apparently you are thinking of selling some of your pictures (I think we are in tune, or maybe i can read your mind lol).

    Have a good trip Ben, I being a fan of books that take place in Roman times i`m envying you right now, you´l have fun, statues are good to look at, they just sit there still like some models but you can still have fun looking at them. :)

    Get well soon Joey. (I miss your voice) im so sad.

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  28. Joey take care of yourself - a fit Joey is a happy Joey, I hope. xoxo

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  29. It was cool seeing you again last night after like 324234 years, Joey. I still think it was funny val was watching through an ipod, lol.

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  30. Lol. I wasn't exactly watching, all i get on my i pod is who is online,I cant join the chat room. and i didn't knew someone had gotten my pms until i got home and I had replies. So Ipod is a big semi fail. :)

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  31. I hope you got a good night sleep and are feeling better today. I saw you were going to be coming on tonight; I can’t wait. :) It is always nice to see you. I am also looking forward to your next bog post. Please keep them up I really enjoy them.

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  32. Joey - My manly side says - I enjoyed seeing you Joey - my not so manly side says - hugs, kisses, a cuddle, and then a brew xoxo

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  33. Joey, it was really great seeing you on cam last night. Seeing you twice in one week has really been a treat. I hope we get to see you at least one more time this weekend. Seeing you happy and hyperactive was just what I needed to cheer me up. I caught some of your happiness and I think most of the room did also. Like always, the time you were online went by way to fast.

    I am sending you a hug hopefully it will cheer you up, so when you come on cam again you will be happy. Just remember seeing you happy really makes us happy and the opposite is also true. So try to smile more, you are incredible beautiful when you do.

    This not so manly side of Fred is different. - I am a little scared by it. I am just kidding with you by the way - It will take some time to get used to it, although I do like the change.

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  34. All I have to say is... I LOVEEEEEE YOU GUYS. <3 Thank you all for the comments. Just keeping it short. Maybe you guys will see me tonight? :) Sunday night. I have a surprise! <3 xo

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  35. I am glad you like our comments. I never really know what think about them. I really hope you can get online tonight, especially since you are teasing us with a surprise. I can’t wait to see what it is.

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  36. I'm happy your thinking of coming online Sunday night(there goes my sleep, I just hope you're not on to late or im gonna miss it (remember Monday morning is the worst day of the week.
    You have a surprise, wonder what it is?! (curiosity is killing me).

    I'm keeping the mushiness to the minimum, so no tear drops, fluffy bunny's, sun sets or creepy 14th century poems.
    Kisses and Hugs to all blog readers.

    OH and here is a sad song.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Dnv5L59eSo

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  37. Not sure I know any 14th century poems - am sure I do not. Mind you I do like - The Charge of the Light Brigade - 1854 by Alfred Lord Tennyson - I can relate to it well. And or the quote - ‘lions commanded by asses'circa 1854 - 55. But how about for Joey: Roses are red,Violets are blue,Sugar is sweet;And so are you. - 1590 Sir Edmund Spencer. :)

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  38. Joey, I like the idea of the chip in for college. It is nice to see there is another way we can contribute to your education besides tokens.

    Any progress on your other project, it would be nice to have a photo of you. In the mean time, I hope you got some study time in this weekend so you will not be as stressed out over your midterms.

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  39. You listen to my songs !? But do you like them? Back to you. Half an hour of you is to short a time but it sure makes the rest of my long day look brighter. Thank you for coming online . <3

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  40. Good to have had some time with you Joey - Sailor Moon outfit - Hmmmm, I will call it Army Moon outfit :) I was feeling a tad down, and then I saw your smile, and eyes ( both of them ). Hug and a little kiss xoxo

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  41. It was really nice to see you online last night, Joey. Just seeing you online was a nice surprise . The outfit was nice too. I am really looking forward to seeing the sailor moon outfit now.

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